Single at 36 has been interesting. The truth is, the old me never expected this for myself. Not because I saw it as negative, but because at one time, before I experienced my most significant period of personal growth, I had an idealistic trajectory for my life. I followed that exact trajectory and got the “ideal” job, the marriage and the perfect life. And as good as it was and as appreciative as I am for that experience, my soul took me on a different journey.
Growing up, I never dreamt about being married, or fantasized over being taken care of. I saw marriage as a partnership between two people who could support one another and grow together in their individual and collective pursuits – a vision of marriage I still maintain today. I assumed, like many women, that I would eventually meet “the guy” and have kids, but I also aspired to have my own career and forge my own path. My expectations for both my career and marriage played out in reality, and I found a very good guy and had a great life. I just didn’t realize how much growth and change I would experience after that point. In my mind, I had already accomplished so many goals and aligned with who I wanted to be, so I saw myself as grown up and self aware.
Around the age of 30, I shifted significantly. As an entrepreneur, I starting reaching an intense level of independence. When you develop this sense of total self-reliance, your intuition starts to take over…there isn’t enough time or energy to get hung up on details or wait for affirmations from others. This translated into my everyday life, and soon I felt a pull to live on my own terms, with complete independence. I began to trust my intuition. As I reached this heightened sense of self-awareness and self-reliance, it was no longer satisfying to keep reaching all of these tactical goals and building accolades. My inner being was waking up and connecting to people, nature and unseen energies at a level I never knew existed. Decision-making became swift and easy. Connections with people became energetic as if my heart sensed all that they were. Because the noise of fears and judgments were becoming quiet, my heart and soul got louder. There was less noise, confusion and worry over the details. I simply saw the big picture of who I was, who I was meant to be, and the people who were meant to be in my life. I envisioned complete alignment with my personal truth. My truth and passion to help others become their best self. Things that didn’t align with this vision started to fall away, but not without pain and heartache. No matter the pain, I had a deeply personal responsibility to align with my soul’s purpose in the world and in this lifetime.
And now, I’m here…36 and single, no kids. And I’m so grateful to be where I am in life today. Why? Because I gave myself the opportunity in this one lifetime to live and connect to my true purpose at the individual level. I released myself from an idealistic trajectory defined by society’s collective rules. I found a way to do whatever I want and need to do in a manner that aligns with my muse.
We as a people are experiencing a universal shift toward individualism, and one of the goals of the Moderna Muse community is to inspire and accelerate that shift. Entire generations are choosing not to ascribe to some level of conformity in regards to relationships, family life, career or anything else that defines a significant portion of human existence. It’s not about doing away with the expected or traditional way of living, but it is about finding a sense of pride and accomplishment in your life path, no matter what direction you go. Whether you are single, married, a parent or childless, there is a constant need for self-assessment and progress in order to walk in alignment with who you are meant to be.
This is not easy to do, because we all have relationships and people and influences in our lives that can cause a little noise, but be patient and stick with the program – your individual, unique program. Set your vision; believe in your vision. In all facets of life, act in a manner that aligns with the vision you created. This will guide you closer to your muse, and someday, your vision will become your reality. Even if you have to wait until 36 or after to receive it, it’s worth it! Go inspire, be free, be you. You will receive more love, success and possibilities than you ever saw coming. Cheers to being you!